Past, Present, and Future

Finding A Place of Our Own

Seven years ago, Sean and I finally decided on the purchase of 15 acres in the San Juan Islands to be the home of the Awareness School. We had been casually searching for over a year when we were shown a disturbed forest bordered by 400 acres of land preserve. It was situated at the dead end of a small road with not even a crude path to walk the property. We hacked our way through bramble and thick understory, unable to picture possible future scenarios.

Walking through, it felt enormous as we went from one micro-climate to another. We passed through mighty Douglas firs giving way to paper white alder groves and into grassy wetlands. Madrona flanked the highlands where old growth stumps had now given way to 100-year-old red cedars. Towering maples, home to multiple species of owls, dotted the entire fifteen.

That first Spring, camping in a small clearing, we were keenly aware of the prolific wildlife. We would come to learn that in that spot alone, there were over 32 species of birds we could identify on our Merlin App in one sitting.

Ravens dominated the morning symphony. Hawks circled overhead at noon. Eagles screeched in the golden evenings for which the San Juans are famous, and the owls carried on in dramatic fashion throughout the night.

We had found a home that would eventually be called Four Feathers Farm.

This was not the first time searching for a place to house our retreats. We had a dry run in the Methow Valley some fifteen years prior which ended in our group breaking up. Pre-Methow, we had rented various properties, and post-Methow, we found a consistent rental at Aldermarsh on Whidbey Island.  

On that property over the years, we replaced the roofs on every building, built a wood shed, refinished a deck, weeded the garden (so many times), chopped and stacked wood yearly, maintained trails, and painted plenty of walls.

We developed a wonderful trusting relationship with the owner and treated Aldermarsh like it was our own. It had been an ideal work exchange; however, it had come time to get a place of our own.

Upon purchasing the San Juan Island property, we vowed to run retreats for at least five years while we studied the land, the passage of the sun, and the weather patterns. For our first week-long retreat, we set up a Costco tent as the meditation hall and built a platform for our first canvas tent that went up in the clearing where we had originally camped. We drove to town each day to do the movements at the Grange, which housed a beautiful grand piano on hardwood floors. We took showers at the Marina during the lunch break.

Those were the pioneering days that offered plenty of opportunities for inner work. We strove to hold our presence at every transition, since we did not have the luxury of staying solely on the land absorbed in complete nature. Blessings to all of you who came out those first two years to get things started!

The pandemic ushered in a full group in 2020, so we built a dance floor in the first three days in order to do our sacred dances without having to leave the property anymore. This was a game changer. From then on over the years, we have made trails, built a boardwalk, an outdoor kitchen, an outdoor dining hall, a hot shower system, a composting system, various tent platforms, two more Glamping tents, cleared a garden plot, and started a deer fence around the garden.

We have hosted over forty-five retreats over the last 7 years. Those include sound camps, week-long retreats, service weekends, women’s circle shamanic initiations, and women's circle alumni retreats.

Eventually, after much deliberation, the spot for the barn was revealed to us. It all made sense. And we began to stake out the boundaries of a real building 2 years ago.

Building A Foundation

Of course, building a structure on property is not as easy as chop wood, carry onward – we’ve spent many hours getting permits, designing the floorplan, and hiring a team to help us construct our dream. Between setbacks, prayers, paperwork, acceptance, more paperwork, and  our own time constraints, it’s been two years of pulling this barn into reality with a team. But we’re finally seeing the results.

As I look over the newly poured cement, I am reminded that this is not just a physical foundation, but a representation of something that has been in the making for 30 years. So much learning, spiritual transformation and experience is being poured into this form. It has been built from all of our efforts, attention, presence, prayers, meditation, zikrs, chanting, sound baths, shamanic journey and sacred dancing by hundreds of people. Together we have woven a tapestry that is part of the Great Work and will be carried forward throughout all of time.

This magnetic center developed by all of these people is now taking shape as a barn that will host many more to come. It will be in service to all those who enter. The land will welcome its presence and we will honor the land for accepting its footprint. 

We asked permission and blessed some beautiful firs that had to come down to make space for us. They will be milled and used in the great hall. This was difficult for me, but we will make up for it; we are determined to enhance all the nature around us through permaculture principles. We want to harmonize the building with its environment.

We will still erect our sacred tepee every year and use the camp for participants. The barn sets the scene for the next phase of this esoteric school. I will keep everyone posted as the walls go up and we get it “dried in”. In the meantime, we'll be designing the kitchen, the bathrooms, and all the other fun details of creating this space for us all.

We look forward to hosting you this summer and beyond. We will be offering weekend events and a weeklong summer retreat, including 3 hours of Gurdjieff movements per day. Please check our retreats page for dates and details. https://www.awarenessschool.com/retreats 

Molly Knight Forde is the founder of the Awareness School and author of Be Present: Reflections On The Way.

If you are interested in joining us for an in-person retreat, visit our Retreats Page for opportunities coming up soon!

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